Recently, I stumbled upon a fascinating read. Inspired by our nation’s climate of hardship and challenge during the past year, I found myself captivated by the words of Kurt Andersen’s “Reset: How this crisis can restore our values and renew America.” In his book, Andersen provides a historical account of our nation’s road to crisis — depicting the themes our country has adopted over the years and inspiring readers toward a path of greater days ahead.
With refreshing perspective, Andersen provides a vivid description of the road America has known as its cultural trends swing between proverbial pendulums of extremes. As we have witnessed in days of economic crisis, these swings are no longer sustainable. A new way of living must begin. Amidst the ache of fading idealism and the ease of prosperous days, there is great opportunity to stand back, take inventory, and examine our lives. This is a time to reset.
Beyond realms of economy, American families have felt the effects of our changing world and its cultural shifts for some time. As I read Andersen’s commentary of our country and his challenge to our nation, I began to consider his words within the context of today’s families. As we anticipate goodness in the year ahead, I offer the following themes to consider as you seek places in your own life and in your family where “pushing the reset button” might be of value.
• Considering entitlement. In distant years past, the measure of one’s work ethic was met with equal reward and merit. Expectations were congruent with what was earned or worked toward. The invention of credit introduced a very different way of living. Today, we purchase just about anything we want — often the items felt entitled to own. This entitlement of possessions has aided our country toward economic crisis. It is also the emotional climate creating chaos and pain in our homes.
We are in unprecedented times of expecting immediate results whether deserved or not. Patience and delayed gratification is difficult to find in abundance today. In their place, entitlement has reigned — and it does so with great effects to our individual character and to the harmony in our home. What do you feel entitled to possess? Perhaps a larger home, a fancier car, a greater position of power and influence. Turning toward your children, where might they feel entitlement? Perhaps in receiving toys and gadgets, having unlimited financial resources, being pardoned from school work or household chores? I encourage you to consider where entitlement dwells in your home and feel inspired to lessen its presence making way for the resurrection of hard work and sweet reward.
• Defining contentment. Where do you find contentment? The collapse of our recent economy testifies to the fact that Americans have been placing great contentment in the tangible. When our busting society of consumerism no longer became sustainable, it invited us to look in the mirror and question the life we seek to build. When possessions change and the tangible is lost, what do we really need to be content? Many families within our community have been asking this question for quite some time as hardships came this past year. Regardless of our individual circumstances, a new year invites us all to ponder the places where contentment feels full in our lives — as well as the places where we find it lacking.
If necessity is the mother of all invention, it is our perception of necessity that drives our choices. What are the necessities of your life? What are the luxuries or privileges you enjoy? I encourage you to be clear about the difference, for it is the confusion in combining these domains which breeds discontentment. As you define contentment in your life, may it reflect the places that defy circumstance or the temporary — may it reflect deeper purpose and meaning which doesn’t waver with a changing economy or a cultural shift.
• Prioritizing values. Pause for a moment. Find a pen and paper and write down 10 aspects of your life you value above all the rest. What did you find? For many of us, we value family and friends and health — yet our choices don’t always reflect the truth of those ideas. I often times hear from young people how deeply they miss their parents — who love them very much. Yet somewhere the dream of owning a spacious and beautiful home brought the need to work numerous hours. As a result, these families know little time together and are distanced by unnecessary square feet. When our priorities are compromised by our lifestyle, it is time to reset and reflect the genuineness of our values in our everyday experiences.
Every American administration is known for a particular theme: national security, health-care reform, economic prosperity or decline, humanitarianism, international relations. These themes may come from an intentional commitment to certain values, but often they come in response to unforeseen need or crisis. Whether your family has recently known difficult times or whether you are seeking to simply be intentional about examining your values, I pose this question: What will be the theme of your life or family this year?
Great challenge inspires profound opportunity. As our nation and our community reset and move into a new era, our families are afforded the same fresh beginning. Amidst a social movement of change, I encourage you and your family to seize this season of reflection and renewal. May you be inspired to create change where needed and delight in the legacy it brings in the new year!
Shannon Renae West, MS LMFT is a licensed family therapist working with adolescents and young adults on the greater Eastside. For more information, visit www.ShannonRenae.com.
