I can honestly tell you that my future is in full swing. I can’t remember the last day my mom hadn’t asked me about college, when teachers forgot to assign homework to “make us better” or when the word career was just a six-letter word. That’s hardly true anymore. My mom is constantly badgering me about colleges I should attend and majors I should consider. As for teachers, they are assigning as much grueling homework as ever. And, in my vocabulary, the word career is a life-altering six-letter word.

The time to choose a path has finally come. I remember sitting in one of those tiny chairs at a miniature desk in the first grade laughing about how fun it would be to be a garbage man. Now, here I sit thinking about SATs and college applications. Does the madness never stop?

Adults in life always stress how important it is to choose the right career — my mother, especially. Honestly, I don’t have a clue what I want to do with my life after high school. I’ve gotten so far as to embrace the idea of a four-year college. But careers? I remember just months ago thinking I was crazy for worrying so much about my future. That’s what makes it such an intimidating thought. No one knows for sure what their future consists of. Unless you’re like me and don’t have a clue … but I suppose that would make you worse off, wouldn’t it?

I took an aptitude test online. My perfect career, according to said test, is a circus trainer. I’m hoping there is some strange database that pulls careers from a massive pile and gives them to people. If I’m destined to become a circus trainer, I might just cry. That is, after I finish laughing hysterically and my future finally sets in.

Maybe I’m making too much a deal of all of this. It is a great possibility, but on the other hand, what kind of odd career test tells people they have a calling for training man-eating lions? I’m reading too much into this. I can’t trust a Web site to determine my career.

Nor can we ever stop the worrying. The pressure isn’t only on me. The economy is pretty bad right now, and I’m sure mothers everywhere are trying desperately to find a way to foot the grocery bill. Health is always a concern. Thousands of Americans don’t have insurance. Others might worry about more trivial things, like having to train monkeys for a living. (Or is that just me?)

All we ever want is more. More money, more security, more answers. I have finally learned that life is just one vicious cycle. We get to where we want to be and then decide we want something better. It’s never a bad thing to strive to be a better person or have a better outlook on life, but sometimes it’s nice to sit down and admire where you are right now.

So make yourself a nice cup of tea and bask in the glow of your accomplishments. Look back on all the times you were worried about something and persevered. Find the courage within yourself to keep going, despite what anyone tells you or whatever happens to the economy. It won’t be easy, but good things come to those who work hard. And, most importantly, in the midst of all your worrying, don’t lose touch with who you are.

The future can be terrifying. It is and always will be unknown. But the beautiful thing about futures is that they can always be changed.

As for me, I have to find another aptitude test. Perhaps one that takes futures a tad bit seriously. I enjoy a good laugh as much as the next girl, but a circus trainer? Really?

Ilena Adamson is a Bothell resident and Henry M. Jackson High junior.