My sister was recently married. It was a beautiful wedding filled with wonderful friends, incredible food, dancing until midnight and getting swept away in the magic of fairy tales becoming real. In the midst of such celebration, you can imagine my surprise when guests would tap upon my single shoulder to assure me not to worry — for I’ll surely find love someday, too. Stung by the strangeness of such interesting sentiment, I was drawn to thoughts of the single life.

According to recent surveys, over 40 percent of adults are single. Approximately 87 million men and women are unmarried, although a quarter report being in a committed relationship. Among all singles, only 16 percent report looking for a romantic partner. This only amounts to 7 percent of the entire population (U.S. Census Bureau).

Perhaps you are single after years of ending a marriage. Perhaps you are single as a man or woman who has never married. Perhaps you are single after the loss of a loved one through death or the ending of a relationship. Whatever your circumstance, the status of being single will be claimed by all — either in the past, in the present or in future years. The status of singleness is worthy of our attention.

For those who are presently single, how do you feel about this season in your life? Is your experience of singleness a friend or a foe? I offer that question without assumptions. There are a myriad of societal messages existing in our culture about the single lifestyle. Among them is the idea that single men or women are discontent and constantly seeking to be “completed” through relationship. Statistically, this is not the case. Numerous men and women report satisfaction with their experience of being single. There is no sleep lost among these content individuals. For others, this is not the case. Contentment is distant, sleep is restless and peace is needed.

It is valuable to consider how seasons of singleness are met with contentment and satisfaction. Perhaps being single serves a particular purpose in one’s life. Perhaps it is a practical decision. Perhaps it serves an emotional need for a time. If this is the case, there is significance in embracing the status of singleness. There is also value in recognizing when singleness is no longer offering solace or bringing pleasure. When discontent or frustration arises, pay attention to these ways of feeling.

There is a deep longing in the human experience to be connected to others through meaningful and intimate relationships. We are social creatures that thrive in relationship. Where there is isolation, the spirit risks health. For those who might be losing sleep over your single status, I offer these aspects to ponder:

• When considering your single experience, what are the aspects you genuinely enjoy? Where do you begin to feel discontent or struggle? Make a list of both elements. Keep it close to you. Remind yourself of the times you are thankful and can sincerely celebrate. Where there is discontent, honor what is being felt. Acknowledge this experience but don’t linger too long. Instead, seek ways to meet areas of discontent through available means. (For example, combat loneliness with social activities and building friendships. Shift the focus from yourself by serving those in need through local charities.)

The voyage of finding and sustaining love takes courage and passion and strength. It also requires reflection and examination. In the meantime, I wish you much adventure in these single years. Who knows? You might just fall in love with this time in your life.

Bothell High graduate Shannon Renae West, MS LMFT is a licensed family therapist working with adolescents and young adults. Visit www.ShannonRenae.com.