As the school year rolls into its fourth week, I have been in conversation with many of our community’s students. There is a deep longing to reconnect again with friends and usher in the school year — and thus a new season in their life.
I find as I write this piece, I am wishing the young people I have heard from this summer were here with me writing — so I could simply be a scribe to their experiences and their expressions. On their behalf, I share a request they have for our community. They long for a fresh start and a new beginning — in the classroom, in their family and among their friends.
SUMMER CHANGES
Not long ago, I sat in conversation with a high-school student who was reflecting with me the change he has experienced in his life over the summer. At the end of last year, his grades had plummeted, alcohol had entered his life and he had built a reputation among his community as a “slacker.” Like those in his life, he questioned the quality of his future and struggled to find the value in correcting the direction that his reputation had taken. This summer, change has come to his life in remarkable ways. There is light in his eyes and hope for possibilities of a new beginning — where he knows of his worth in the world, the significance of his life and a renewed sense of commitment to a fulfilling future. (As an important note, to ensure the confidentiality of those I am honored to work with, I often change the details of their identity and stories for the purpose of this column.)
Amidst the excitement of such change in this young man’s life, he worries. He has worked so hard to bring new perspective to his life and to bring change where he felt the need. Over the past several months, he has come to know himself to be a different young man than he knew at the end of the last school year. The summer months have been an ideal time for reflecting upon his life and creating powerful changes — yet it is a time of isolation from the community that knew his former way of being. And so he wonders, “will anyone notice he wants things to be different this year? Will they believe he can really change? If not, will he doubt himself and fall back to former ways?”
A ‘NEW STORY’
Often when change unfolds in our life, we have a “new story” of ourselves having experienced difference in our life. Former thoughts, emotions or behaviors have been distanced or dismissed in order to invite more desired aspects of experiencing ourselves. For those closest to us, they often have the opportunity to know of these desired changes and to witness their unfolding in our lives. In walking more closely and intimately in our lives, they are able to support and encourage this “new story” we seek for ourselves.
Echoing the concerns of the young man that has brought such change to his life, there are those in the community that simply do not have the knowledge of this “new story” of change. The people in our life that do not share in our daily journey, may have a challenging time letting go of a former reputation and thus an “old story.” This can be incredibly challenging and discouraging for an individual that has worked so hard to experience a new self of him/herself, for when the “old and the new story” clash, it can be overwhelming and difficult to sustain the changes in one’s life and their new sense of self.
I have had the privilege of sitting with so many young people this summer who have worked tremendously hard to bring change to their life where it was desired. They are proud of the ways they have overcome difficult places or challenging relationships in their life. They are excited about the possibilities of what lies ahead in the school year. Yet there is concern about how others might remember (or even try to rekindle) former ways. Inspired by the desires of the young people I sit in conversation with each week, I would like to encourage our community to enter into the school year with the intention of riding beliefs or past reputations about another. Instead, I would like to invite us all to eagerly await the “newness” that might arise from those around us.
VALUABLE TEACHERS
As a specific note to teachers, I wish so many of you could have been amidst the conversations that I have known this summer. You hold a valuable place for these young people. Time and time again, I hear of how you have been a powerful tool in helping to create the ways that young men and women are coming to see themselves and their place in the world. It is my hope that you will enter the school year refreshed and will continue to passionately bring a new perspective to the lives of your students — especially those that have known the pain of a former (or present) destructive or apathetic reputation.
In the spirit of welcoming in a new year and celebrating the changes young men and women have known this summer, may the students, families and teachers within our community enjoy a significant and meaningful start. It is my hope that the coming months will offer new possibilities for a preferred way of living and that support and encouragement would be felt in wonderfully unexpected moments throughout our community.
Shannon Renae West, MS LMFT, is a licensed family therapist working with adolescents and young adults on the greater Eastside. For more information, visit www.ShannonRenae.com.
